Friday, August 4, 2017

9 Reasons Breastfeeding Sucks! (Pun intended)

I am not writing this post to discourage breastfeeding what so ever. In fact, I am currently nursing my 15month old son, who was EBF (Exclusively breastfed ) for 6 months and is nursing with no end in sight. I went into breastfeeding with an unrealistic expectation of cuddles and bliss. The articles I found online only highlighted the flowy dresses and flower crown side.  Yes, breastfeeding is natural, but that doesnt mean it won't be challenging. No matter how beautiful it will be, there may be hiccups so here are my  unedited thoughts- 9 reasons breastfeeding sucks!

1.     Cracked nipples:
 Holy crap, how is this pain possible. I had cracked nipples sometime around 2-3 weeks postpartum. I was in so much pain my husband looked terrified every time I nursed.
At least that went away quickly
2.     Biting:

 I will admit, biting does not happen nearly as frequently as you would imagine, but when it does...Are you a baby or a piranha?!

3.     Night nursing:
The first time they wake up
         “Awe, Hi mamas baby wanna cuddle and nurse...ok baby”
5 hours later and 16th time waking up…
          ”Seriously, we just nursed 2 hours ago.. please sleeepppp
4.     No respect:
Seriously when babies want to nurse nothing else matters. They will pull down your shirt and flash your breast to anyone who will look. Sometimes they lift your shirt and let out a war cry, in order to attract more viewers. Here is a not all inclusive list of all the places Levi pulled down my shirt and flashed my breast: the airport security line, the beach, the elevator, on the airplane, checking out of the grocery store, at church, at the pediatrician who is writing my letter of recommendations house, during a 5K.. yep anywhere, they don’t care

5. Pumping:

Hooked up to a machine.. it is just awkward.  
And sometimes the pump talks to you.. I know this sounds crazy, but all pumping moms agree.. sometimes mine whines “I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home”..
Ok ...maybe those are just my thoughts

6.     Mastitis: no explanation needed

7.     Engorgement:
Have the opportunity to sleep in?
Or maybe even a girls day away from the baby...Do I want to pack my pump?

 *starts packing pump.. I can't carry this around.. I'll just go without my pump.. .. That's too risky, you will have to pump anyway or else.. ENGORGEMENT.
You are a slave to the nursing schedule
A.     Slave.
I’m just going to stay home

8.     “Cover up!”


9.     Unwanted advice and input:
I started to type out all the unwarranted incorrect and just horrible advice, but I got too annoyed… #MajorEyeroll
(Edit to address some annoying advice: no my 3 weeks old doesn't need rice cereal, no he isn't starving he was over birth weight at 4 days olds, Yes he knows how to eat regular food, he has no problem taking a bottle- I have to go to school, no he is not too old,  No I won't *just* give him formula so he will sleep more, no I'm not an exhibitionist because I nurse in public, and no we won't go nurse in the public bacteria filled bathroom, unless you bring your lunch and eat with us)

This post has no intention to discourage anyone from nursing, but mamas who are doing it, you feel me! It sucks some times but it is still worth it. I just wanted to make a realistic post addressing something other than flower crowns and cuddle-fluff (all nursing moms know what I am referring to). Mostly to the moms who feel like they are the only ones who aren't always ecstatic during every nursing session. To the new moms who want to nurse, don't let this turn you away just know that when nursing gets hard, you aren't alone, you can do this! Just because breastfeeding is natural doesn't mean it is easy!

Shout out to all the nursing mamas overcoming these challenges every day for their nursling!


Links and Resources: 
     Kelly Mom


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