Thursday, April 16, 2015

What a Difference a Year Makes: White Coat Ceremony

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition." 

Martha Washington

Exams are in 5 days, so I don't have too much time to really update you all on my white coat ceremony and how amazing it was that my mother father and grandparents (from my dad side) were all able to attend !

Exactly a year from the date of the white coat ceremony, I took time off to help my mom prepare for the start of her chemotherapy. I posted about going though something "in general" then, but it wasn't until November where my mom felt comfortable sharing her news publicly, and in January when I finally shared it on this blog.

In all honesty I would say that last April was the lowest point in my life, at least my version of low (I went from my normal energetic self to a normal persons level of calm). I believe that happiness is a state of mind independent from circumstances and I am an extreme optimist. I believe anyone can be happy as soon as they make up their mind to be, and I have, many many years ago. Regards of what I am going through I feel happy naturally but then the seldom times I did feel down internally, it would be difficult for even those closest to me to tell. My version of "sad" doesn't present like others. I'm not sure if that was a good thing because my attempt to deal with things internally could have stole some focus from school. I felt very distant from my mother and a bit helpless in that there was nothing I could do to really be there for her with the demands of school. At the same time distance was wearing on Ben and my relationship and for obvious reasons he wasn't physically here when I needed a hug or was having a bad day. Because of distance I felt like I couldn't be apart of my mothers support system and I felt very isolated from my own.

It's crazy how the same exact date a year later will be one of my best days ever! Not only was my mother able to be here for my white coat ceremony, in remission and with her neuropathy almost gone, my (now ex)husband also graduated and received his FAA license... the same exact time as my white coat ceremony! Ben is ecstatic as he has completed all the requirements to begin working in his life long career! (this day seems so far for me!) I am so proud of him.

Anyway, time to get back to exam studying!!

Until then,
   Love well,